A divorce is one of the most taxing experiences that a person can go through. In addition to the fact that you are separating from a loved one, you also have to deal with dividing assets and protecting the children. In the end, there really is no winner.
However, you must do your best with what you can control and not let the stress and confusion of divorce affect your wellbeing. Remember that you will get through this and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Once you understand that, try some of these helpful tips as you navigate the rest of the divorce process.
Do Your Best to Remain Calm
Regardless of how long you had been married, divorce is not an easy process. You are leaving someone you loved, and if there are young children involved, then the process can be even harder. Although it may seem easier said than done, the best thing you can do is to keep everything organized, so you do not get overwhelmed.
In most cases, a divorce is much more than just a splitting up of a relationship, as many divorces can also include the stresses of the division of assets and liabilities, spousal support, child custody agreements, parenting plans, and more. Since handling all of these components is impossible to do on your own and could lead to more stress, involve an attorney that you know and trust to help.
They can outline all necessary steps, create a timeline for when each goal will be reached, and keep you up to date every step of the way. Adding in this organization won’t make the proceedings any easier, but knowing that someone is helping you and has your back can help to prevent more unneeded stress.
The topic of money is always a tricky one, so conversations about splitting up your finances can be particularly sticky and lead to unwanted anxiety. You and your ex should begin creating a budget as early as possible and factor in everything from house payments to gas mileage, so you are not worried about missing anything down the line. Be honest about what you need and take the time to talk it out as worrying about money once the divorce is settled will not help your wellbeing.
Make Your House Feel Like Home Again
Now that the divorce is official, you will likely see a difference in your living situation, whether that involves moving to a brand-new space or living alone in your formerly shared home. This can be quite a change, and in the case of those who are now living alone for the first time, it can also be lonely. If you are not careful, loneliness can turn into depression, but you do not have to let it get to that point.
While there will be moments where you will be especially down, it is crucial that you keep your spirits up and spend time with people who will be understanding of your situation. Spend time with your family or join a support group for divorced people where you can share your feelings and make new friends. You can also get involved in the community and do volunteer work. When you spend time with others, your body gets a boost of endorphins, which will help you feel better even after your company leaves.
Most importantly, take the time to make your home a space where you feel comfortable again. This is another area where organization can be your friend because the last thing you need on your plate is a messy house. When it comes to decluttering, start small with a few minutes of cleaning each day and then go room by room while you make strong choices about what items you truly need and what can be discarded. Then, invest in dressers, bins, and storage boxes where you can neatly pack away what you don’t currently need. This may even be a time where you decide to redecorate to your own personal style. If the house is all yours now, feel better by transforming it into the perfect home.
Stress Reduction and Good Eating
With legal appointments, separating finances, and getting names off formerly shared accounts, you’re likely going to be stressed, and when you let stress get to you, it can lead to numerous health issues including headaches, heart disease, and even mental health problems. Immediately noticeable effects of stress include decreased sleep, upset stomach, and low energy. Anxiety can also negatively affect your veins, and if you don’t take proper care, you could experience weakened circulation and increased blood pressure, which can quickly escalate.
If you are feeling the extremes of any of these effects of stress, then it is best to consult a medical professional. However, stress can also be reduced with changes in your lifestyle, including plenty of exercise. When you begin an exercise routine with running, yoga, or any other physical activity, your body releases those all-important endorphins, which improve your overall mood. Plus, any type of routine will help with stress because it will keep your mind busy, provide the structure you require, and build self-confidence.
A healthy diet can also reduce unwanted stress. The best foods for stress relief include nuts, fruit, fish, tea, and even dark chocolate. However, you should avoid caffeine as it can interfere with your mood, and refined sugars can mess with your blood sugar levels. Other methods for reducing stress include supplements, medication, and taking walks, which will give you a change of scenery and time to think.
There is no way around the fact that a divorce is one of the most stressful events when it comes to your wellbeing. But if you focus on improving your surroundings and your overall health, you will successfully.
Author Info: Noah Rue is a writer, a digital nomad, and a graduate of the lessons of life (primary) and also the University of Idaho. These days, Noah teaches English as a second language in lovely Puerto Vallarta, Mexico and moonlights as a content strategist for an American based marketing company.